Hope for Orphans
God has been bringing up my “orphan” status to work on. I’m not an orphan in the traditional sense of the word, but I did have an absent Dad and not much of a family relationship from my tween years on. I was talking to my wife Kyle the other night, and remembering that I was probably already running most of my life by the time I was 14 or 15, only a year or two older than my son Madison is right now.
Last week, I was thinking about how I’m pretty much making up this fathering thing as I go along. I don’t have anyone to ask about it. I realized that I pretty much feel that way all the time: about work, about marriage, about fathering. I always seem to be pioneering without much other guidance. I was a bit frustrated about having to figure everything out alone and sharing that with God. The very next day, we went to hear John Eldredge on his speaking tour “Fathered By God”. I had not heard him nor read any of his books, but he sounded like he’d been reading my mail. There was an obvious connection with what I’d been thinking and feeling earlier. He talked about the stages of life from Boyhood to Cowboy to Warrior/Lover to King and eventually to Sage. I kind of had my boyhood stage ripped from me, and somewhat skipped the Cowboy stage jumping early into Warrior/Lover, and currently King. It’s not that those stages were left out, but that I didn’t fare too well in them with the absence of my Dad. The things I learned from life at those times aren’t serving me all that well now in my relationship with God as my father.
This theme bled over into church this weekend. I’ve be worn out and did get in some good rest over the Memorial Day weekend. During the end of service prayer time at Vineyard on Sunday morning, I was feeling a little renewed. As we prayed, I had a picture pop up in my head of me hugging Kenyan orphans. I think God is going to “work together for our good” my changing orphan attitude and these wrong ways I approach Him and Life.
